There was a little girl in church, about 5, and her parents obviously let her get dressed herself that day because she came waddling in with the puffiest coat on in the summer in North Carolina. She comes and sits in the pew in front of us. 15 minutes into mass she turns around and hands my husand an orange. Her parents are mortified.
“Savannah not again!” They sold! (Again kills me)
They appologize and she turns back around. A few moments later she goes to hand me an orange but her parents grab it from her before she can.
Savannah is determined. She reaches her tiny fists into her puffy coat and pulls out two more ornages. She begins to distribute them. Her parents are now beat red and in shock.
This small child proceeds to laugh a laugh I can only call manical (in a Catholic church) unzip the inner line of her coat and releases what had to have been 20-30 of those little kid oranges into the pews.
WE EAT Savannah yells cackeling
The priest can no longer contain his glee
The entire church is dying with laughter
She felt like Jesus on the moutian with the baskets of fish that day I’m sure.
me, talking to a dog: you’re soft. are you even aware of your mortality? of course ur not. u pure, wholesome and sentient unselfish being. do u feel that? that’s my heart. i love you. look at those ears. here take my wallet
I hate that the Dairy Queen cashiers have to flip your blizzard upside down before giving it to you. I hate it. I know it’s most likely going to stay in it’s cup and I know I get a free one if it doesn’t, but the cocktail of a potential disaster and the cashier apologizing to what is most definitely a horrified me, having to sit in a drive-thru while someone behind me just bore witness to my fucking salted caramel blondie blizzard splattering on the asphalt, melting away while they mix me another one and i pray to god that they don’t flip it upside down again, is just a stress that I find entirely unnecessary. I trust it’s thick, just give me your word and i’ll be on my merry way.
I just imagined how it would feel to have them flip your second blizzard and have it spill too and I felt my shoulders physically tense
